BRAVO!

WELL DONE EVERYONE! I COULD NOT BE PROUDER!!! WHAT AN AMAZING WEEK THAT WAS! SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GROUP OF FRIENDS THAT I HOPE WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE! xxxxxxx

I have to have the will to carry onnn with the... onnn with the.... onnn with the... SHOW!

SO!
a week to go ey? My worries are that ques are REALLY hard to remember and I never quite know which scenes are which. Its hard to know without my script which scene we are doing and whether or not Im in it. Lines are fine now, and again the only problem is knowing when to say them. Shane and I have worked out my amazing makeup! haha and hair is on the way. Im also pretty happy with my costume. Josh is doing a great job with music though I really do wish he had done something with the character songs as i put a lot of effort into that- as well as making sure it would fit. Basically it annoys me when we are set work, we do the work (or apparently 2 people do the work) and nothing ever happens to it other than regretting wasting our time. But oh well- it was good.
Anyway, he is doing an amazing job! I think its important that people really start to realise that we should be attending all rehersals, putting in the effort, concentrating and not letting each other down. We are a team, and if we act as one we will have an amazing show that everyone will look back on and smile- not just for themselves but for everyone else. I think everyone performs REALLY WELL when they are on stage, and its great to see scenes falling together by way of ensemble, technicality and enthusiasm. Once again, love working with you Jenna sweetie!!
I still think I need to vary my character more. Ive tried to do so much more than usual and i think its working well. but it seems that some things i try are worse than before so i just stick to them. Ive been changing my movement quite a bit which is good- less of a ballet walk more of a creepy, isolation-ee, rolling liquid movement that changesa according to my mood. I got bored with just walking :) I love the opening circus scene so much- by far my favourite!
Hopefully tonight we'll get the second act done and can then really begin working on the nitty gritty bits. I hope the how runs SMOOTHLY above all, unlike our group devised pieces last year! haha. ok, good luck, and lots of love...

As it goes on and on my friends....

Rehersals have been a little bit scary lately- just as we are REALLY running out of time. Some of the scenes are looking really good- and its so great to see people knowing their lines. (My ques still need work)haha.

****!!!!POP!!!!**** is awesome!!!! :D

I've really been trying to keep my character really intense- as sometimes i can slip in an out of controlled intensity too easily. But lately with everyone talking its actually really helped to get me to focus.I'm also really trying to develop more variety with the voice- and trying to make sure im not dull and predictable. Depth is also a big thing- and making sure i dont sound real, but dreamlike instead. Its SO hard not getting in peoples way!!! by the by- Mall Rats looks great!

In the Wednesday rehersal, Jenna and I stayed late to work through the vomitting scene. Its VERY physical, and tricky when i have to be forcing but not overpowering as i have to show HER DESIRE to obey me- not just my forcefullness. Its so great working with Jenna as she tries so hard- gives it everything she's got and purely just wants to do a good job. I dont think I could play this role with someone I had little admiration for- so its great that I am comfortable moving with her (so hard to tell her shes fat though!!!) But yeah, great work Jenna!

Thursday rehersal was similar. Im trying to get in touch with my seductive, cocky side haha! But it went pretty well. Quite tricky to respond to people who never acknowledge you (well characters), but i think that gives me a bit more room for diversity. Oh I really hope this all works out- I love this play so much, and I hope people see the work we do- once its done. I really think if we try hard it will be great.

xxx

Just fear me. Love me, do as I say! And I will be your slave...

ok ok ok, so what.. I LIKE DOING THIS! haha :) This one is looking the best so far, either this or maybe 'Change' by the deftones. This one's from Queen of the Damned (terrible movie, catchy music) its creepy, seductive, powerful and the lyrics just apply so well. Again some neccessary editing for some words.. take a look at it on youtube and see what I mean- awesome atmosphere!

Queen of the Damned / Aaliyah "System"

You fell away
What more can I say
The feelings evolved
I won't let it out
I can't replace your screaming face
Feeling the sickness inside

Why won't you die?
Your blood in mine
We'll be fine
Then your body will be mine

So many words
Can't describe my face
This feeling's evolved
So soon to break out
I can't relate
To a happy state
Feeling the blood run inside

Repeat Chorus

Why is everything so f****** hard for me?
Keep me down to what you think I shall pay!
Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry?
Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily(Repeat)

I will not die...
Why is everything so f****** hard for me?
I will not die...
Why is everything so f****** hard for me?

But what's dinner without a little........MUSIC!?

So, rehersals are going quite well- although are very slow to start and to continue. It's a bit of a shame to still see scripts on stage- but hey there are lOTS of long segments of speech in this show. It's been great to work on the movement on my character fore a while. Although this is often REALLY hard as some emotions, the voice would simply not have, and other situations, that seeing as though I am just a voice in the girls head, and dont actually exist- are very difficult to represent. Some of the interactions between characters- especially in the opening seen has been very helpful in developing both my expression and my intention. I'm trying to work on giving the voice a little more depth and really trying to explore the role rather than settle in one side of it. I think the upcoming scenes in which I am with the girl and she is associating with others will really help. Ive been so impressed with some of the poeple in our class. jenna has been amazing at remembering her lines and becoming the cutest little girl, Holly did an awesome job of her monologue and Luke is doing so well as ringmaster.
The more I think about it, and the more I experience time within my role, the more the make up I last posted becomes SO perfect!!! I think I am even begining to perform with that in mind (especially in the opening circus scene where Luke and I need to highlight 'Anorexia's' power to make people dissappear.Although its nerve-ee Im sort of excited with Miss Mace's decision to levae make-up up to us.
I've been thinking a lot about my piece of music to divulge my character. At first I had be considering more instrumental sorts, but I have a couple of cd's by Vast whose lyrics fit really well. The only annoying things with lyrics though is that because I dont actually exist, many words are from the person ABOUT what could be a 'voice'.- which sort of makes them the girl, rather than me... but even so- they really highlight my character and have really good instrumentals aswell... anyway- no doubt I will search and search until I am happy- I like this 'assignment' a lot!

Vast - Pretty When You Cry Lyrics

You're made of my rib or baby
You're made of my sin
And I can't tell where your lust ends
And where your love begins

I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you
I didn't want to hurt you
But you're pretty when you cry

And the moon gives me permission
And I enter through her eyes
She's loosing through her virginity
And all her will to compromise

I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you
I didn't want to hurt you
But you're pretty when you cry

I didn't want to f*** you baby
I didn't want to f*** you
I didn't want to f*** you
But you're pretty when you're mine

I didn't really love you baby
I didn't really love you
I didn't really love you
But I'm pretty when I lie

You hurt me baby

I hurt you baby

If you knew how much I loved you
You would run away
But I treat you bad
It always makes you want to stay

I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you baby

In this song- all the 'baby's' can refer to what we see in popular society and televsion- the american culture we idolise so much. The whole 'didn't want to hurt you' idea is both what the voice would say to the girl to console her, but also its sincere need for the girl- as without her, it would not exist. Lust and love refers to the way in which the voice seduces her into doing anything. "entering through your eyes"- through what she sees, through the mirror? 'will to compromise' - her health, her happiness, her relationships to become thin,- nothing. Obviously f*** would have to change, but 'pretty when your mine' - perfect to show voice's need and desire to control the girl. 'I didnt really love you but Im pretty when I lie"- untrustworthy relationship, arrogance, leave her always wanting more, needing me, missing me. Its almost a sadomassichistic relationship- she needs me, i want her to, but we are destroying each other and ourselves, but enjoying it too. 'You hurt me baby' 'I hurt you baby'- our relationship- perfect. 'If you knew how much I love you, you would run away'- my need, obsession desire for her to be mine. what i really want would terrify her and destroy her. 'But when i treat you bad i t always mekes you want to stay'- she does need me- she wants me to help her, she wants me to tell her what to do, she trusts me... SO really good... and there are so many more! maybe when i have the time i'll do the same for them........ WOW xx

THIS THIS THIS!!

I LOVE this makeup!!!!! -SO much more than the last ideas- i think it is more sinister and more simple!! PLUS haha (nothing to do with the play BUT) I love the Manolo Blahnik's on the right. :)

A very good place to staaaart.....

WELL, rehersals part UNE

I think the morning began quite slowly- good catch up time I suppose, but I was hoping to use every single minute of the day we planned to really get things done. The talk at the beginning was quite good- laying out what we HAVE TO DO. SHOULD DO, WILL DO etc... That was quite good, if a little long.
Next we had a very physical work shop with Kane. -Started like any teenage class in holidays but then got REALLY good. I LOVE PHYSICAL THEATRE!!! I think even though its quite embarrasing- that excerise just put a few of us in the zone and we didnt care. Id love it if our class could all move beyone that but hey, we are all the same obbsessives.. ANYWAY, so we did lots of different activites which really helped me focus. Except all the while I was thinking- would THIS be the voice? would THIS be the voice?..... etc etc... but now Ive realised they all are- its a character with a maze of sides, and i think its unpredictability will allow me to use all.
The 'yes no' games were great, + "i want you" and all that- Miss Mace a;so helped me with a point about how in click in an out of character really easily (probably because of ballet), she thinks if I am aware of it and i can focus that intensity into my character and its many sides it would really help- i think shes absolutely right. trying to do that is hard, but Ill certainly try. I want to play a really intense voice. :) ooh i like this makeup haha